One of the most common questions I receive is “can my children come to my appointments?
100 times yes! Yes! Children are always welcome at our appointments and they are more than welcome to help the midwife.
Why Would I Want Children Present?
Midwifery with FWM is a family experience. I enjoyed having my children with me for my prenatal care and enjoy having children present for your care.
If coming to your appointments alone is your “me time,” by all means come by yourself. We all need some time to recharge!
If your children are always with you and you choose to never go anywhere without them, yay! Bring them!
Is there a benefit to bringing the kids?
Having your children present to interact with your midwife and bond with us makes it easier on them later.
It also helps facilitate bonding with the new baby so maybe the adjustment period with a new baby isn’t as bad.
Children at Prenatal’s
Your children begin to bond with us while we integrate them into your care as much as they are comfortable.
It is common to have a little helper while I take blood pressure, measure your belly for fundal growth or listen for baby’s heart tones. The whole time they are helping me we are talking about their baby.
Children love to feel needed and this is one way we connect with them and help sibling bonding.
They do not have to be involved at all. They can be off in their own little world playing. They’re still aware and getting used to us.
Related: How to choose the right midwife for you
Children at Birth
When we come into your home and their safe place for the birth of your baby your children won’t see us as strangers.
We will not be a threat to their sense of control in this uncertain time of big changes.
When children are present at birth who have been exposed to midwives they think it’s fun. I’ve been able to calm many toddlers while mommy is busy birthing because they know my face.
Throughout your whole prenatal period they’ve been bonding with me and with their new sibling.
Postpartum
As they adjust to having a new sibling, all the work you’ve done with them and their involvement in your prenatal care can make this huge change easier.
We continue to facilitate bonding at your postpartum appointments. Your kids can be as involved as you and they wish.
We can boost their confidence by exclaiming what good big siblings they are! We can involve them in listening to baby’s heart beat, have them help weigh baby or however they wish to be involved.
Related: 20 Tips for Choosing A Pediatrician
But my children are ____
Disruptive. Loud. Tired. Needy. Clingy. Socially awkward. Little tornadoes.
So? Kids are kids and they have energy. They get tired, sad and mad just like we do. Children aren’t supposed to sit perfectly still.
Does it get loud? Sometimes. Messy? Sure.
So? My kids do too. I get it.
Bring them. I won’t think any less of you because your kids are being kids.
