Today’s guest post on therapy is by Tiffany Wicks of Push Counseling and Coaching. Tiffany is a therapist and coach who primarily supports the mental and emotional well being of women and mothers at Push Counseling & Coaching. Because of her own journey, she is passionate and changing the conversation about mental health in hopes to reduce the stigma for mothers to get the support they need.
The stigma of therapy and why you might consider going
“But I’m fine…”
As a mother, you would do anything for our kids. However, when it comes to you personally, you put ourselves to the side and justify that it is part of the parental sacrifice. Why?
The problem with this notion is that you have to give ourselves up in order to be parents when, in reality, you were an individual before you became parents. We matter, and if you are okay as an individual then everyone else in your world benefits. But this doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
The messages about motherhood combined with negative ideas of therapy prevents so many mothers from getting help in their prenatal and postpartum period.
Before you become a parent, you create expectations for yourself or you carry expectations that were passed down to you.
If those expectations are not met, mothers tend to blame themselves and attribute their reality to failing in motherhood. This happens prenatally and postpartum and throughout motherhood.
Those first experiences when expectations and reality don’t align can be devastating, sometimes leading to depression and anxiety.
To add on to your stress, someone suggests therapy which furthers the thought already in your head that you’re doing it wrong. And therapy, whether or not you have been before, seems daunting and scary and the unknown of telling a stranger your dark thoughts prevents you from ever picking up the phone and taking the next step.
The sad part in all of this is that so many mothers do not get help because no one is talking about what therapy is and not what it isn’t.
Therapy is your hour. Just for you.
How often do you have one hour in your day alone, talking to another adult human uninterrupted? In therapy, you can say whatever you want and the other person can’t tell (with safety exceptions, of course). It’s not a “gotcha” system to try and catch you being a bad mom.
It’s your time to feel and have those feelings validated, which is sometimes rare in the hustle and bustle of parenting and life. Someone is there to tell you that your thoughts that you second guess or feel might be a little wild are important because they matter to you. It’s an hour for prevention, intervention, self-discovery, and self care.
Therapy can be utilized as a maintenance tool, not just a repair.
Can you feel off and need to process difficult issues? Sure. You can also use it as time for yourself to explore new aspects of your life and improve who you are and where you are going.
As a therapist, I hope one day going to a therapist would be as common a conversation as going to the grocery store or getting morning coffee.
As a mom, I wish other moms talked about the fact that it’s okay to seek help when you’re not okay, but it’s okay to seek support when you are okay.
Therapy might not be the way you take care of yourself and that’s okay, but it might not be what you once thought it was. It never hurts to try.
If you are looking for emotional support, help is available.
Push Counseling & Coaching, PLLC is a team of therapists and coaches who are also moms and caregivers passionate about seeing birthing people and mothers succeed. You deserve your best life and we are here for you.
For more information, check out their website or email info@pushcounselingandcoaching.Com
